Getting Married Young and Not Changing My Name

They say getting married young is like leaving the party early, well I beg to differ. I might be leaving the party early, but I’m pretty damn happy with who I’m going home with! 

Like most things in the world, everyone seems to have an opinion on the marriage debate, with the high rate of divorce now days, many people are choosing to forgo getting married, or wait until their late twenties or early thirties. Each to their own. But getting married in you early twenties… Shut the front door!!! 

I’ve written previously about the judgment my then fiance’ and I received when we got engaged  at 20 and 21, definitely very uncommon in today’s generation and although our families were totally fine with it, we had A LOT of outsiders comment on the matter! It’s funny because I was recently chatting to my sister-n-law about the issue, whom by the way is married at the ripe old age of 20, she agreed that the only people who have criticized her choice are those she barely knows!

Some people would try and hide their surprise/concern, whilst others were outright rude and practically said we were being ridiculous to our faces. To be honest it has never really phased me, we like to do things differently and we couldn’t care less if others don’t agree with our choices. But to be outright rude, well those people can just…’F-off’!!




Fast forward to October 2016 when my husband and I tied the knot at 22 and 23, we both agreed afterward that it was the best decision we ever made! Our relationship is far from perfect; I love Frankie with my heart and soul, but some days I want to kill him and I’m sure there’s days where he feels the same about me! We’re the best of friends and we love to spend every minute of the day together, however there’s days I can’t wait for him to leave me the hell alone. Yes, not perfect, but I wouldn’t change our relationship for anything.

Every single persons story is different, and not two people are the same. We are free to make our own choices, take control of our own lives and futures, therefore I fully believe that people should not judge or criticise others. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all did what made us happy? 

Unfortunately I also copped a lot of criticism for not changing my name after I got married, and this time pressure came from my family as well. Changing my last name when I got married was something I knew I was never going to do. I’ve always been super content with the name I was given, my last name has a strong connection to my Macedonian heritage which I’m incredibly proud of. Another huge reason in my decision is because my sister-in-law and I also share the same first name…weird right? I know!! We both agreed that two ‘Ash van Gruening’s’ would be super weird!  Although my husband was disappointed at the beginning, he accepted that keeping my last name was important to me and has fully supported it. 

Like I’ve said to friends and family, I’m open minded and if in the future I want to take my husbands name, I will. Having kids might just change everything….When will that be babe? ha! 

With women’s rights being debated so heavily in society and the media at the moment, it makes me wonder if our choice to keep or change our names,  will be less of an issue one day in the future? Is our choice to change or keep our names going to become a societal norm for the next generation of women? I certainly hope so! 


ash xx

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